A Club World Cup classic

Second Screening is a series where we get Andrew, or maybe someone else, to be honest, to rewatch a classic match and say funny, mad, or occasionally insightful things about it. Diego Maradona , Kevin Keegan , World Cup finals , he's done it all. This week, it’s a Club World Cup special, for obvious reasons. Take it away, Mr Martin...

“You will note the unusual inverted vaulted ceilings, which are a wonderful example of the late Baroque period, and, as I always say, if it’s not Baroque, don’t fix it.”

Muted laughter. Doesn’t really make sense, that joke. Does he like Baroque stuff or not? Like, that sentence implies that if the ceilings were Baroque, he’d fix them so that they were no longer Baroque. Anyway, the audience don’t have time to ponder the architectural leanings of Cogsworth the Clock, maître d' of The Beast’s enchanted castle, because the anthropomorphic cutlery and ornaments are about to perform ‘Be Our Guest’, led by Lumiere, the French womanising candelabra.

Back in 2010, I was coming back to football after spending my late teens making my hair look as shit as possible, failing to impress girls, and getting heavily into the guitar. All of that happened to coincide with my team having four different managers in a season, including Joe fucking Kinnear, so I was ready to try new things, and one of those new things was playing a posh clock in a stage production of Beauty and the Beast. If you think that’s not very cool, you’re right, but I had the time of my life and, after the show, me and my new theatre pals went on holiday to Barcelona.

Barça had just signed David Villa from Valencia, Messi was approaching his long, sustained peak, Xavi, Iniesta, and Busquets were making it their business to appear in the nightmares of the rest of the world’s midfielders … It was that Barça team. They happened to be playing AC Milan in a summer friendly, which was an excuse to have a proper farewell for Ronaldinho, who’d left the previous winter. Forget your pirouettes and your do-re-mis—get yourself some face paints and a cheap replica jersey: we’re going to Camp Nou.

The 2010 Milan side were something special, too. Pirlo, Nesta, Thiago Silva, Seedorf, Pippo Inzaghi, Huntelaar, Ronaldinho … I watched Ronaldinho doing tricks and keepy-uppies for the crowd right in front of our stand. I loved football again. That was it. I was back. Villa bagged on his debut, Super Pippo scored an incredible and very uncharacteristic left-footed volley from outside the penalty area, it ended 1–1, and Barça won on penalties. Those Milan and Barça sides are special to me, but the 2006–07 Milan team was even better…

In fact, that 2010 side was the result of Leonardo and Massimiliano Allegri trying to follow in the footsteps of Carlo Ancelotti’s iconic, diamond-formationed world beaters. Pirlo at the base, Kaká at the tip, Seedorf combining athleticism, brute force, and extraterrestrial technique, Gattuso brutalising anyone who dares to even look at his midfield mates. Che bello! Che perfetto! Che fucking orgasmic! One of the all-time best midfields ever assembled. That’s who we’re here to watch today.

In December 2007 (what a time for a tournament, ay?), that Milan side reached the final of the Club World Cup. The winners of that year’s Champions League would play the winners of that year’s Copa Libertadores, Boca Juniors. That’s proper, that. Two teams there on merit. Europe’s best versus South America’s best in a Japanese stadium named for a car manufacturer. CWC heritage. And, let me tell you, that Boca side was nothing to be sniffed at. Let me share my notes with you.

BOCA JUNIORS

GK 12 Mauricio Caranta: Signed from Santos Laguna in January this year for £900k.

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