Liverpool and Florian Wirtz transfer double U-turn!

Nobody wants to read about Florian Wirtz anymore unless you are prepared to lose all dignity and pretend that the deal has fallen through.

Florian Wirtz Liverpool transfer U-turn collapse

We know the drill; as soon as a transfer is done or looks incredibly close to completion, interest drops like a massive rock. Which is why nobody wants to read about Florian Wirtz anymore and absolute bum-water about Manchester United bidding for Raphinha gets all of the clicks.

Or at least nobody wants to read about Florian Wirtz anymore unless you are prepared to lose all dignity and pretend that the deal has fallen through. Stepping into that moral-free void are, as ever, the Mirror.

Liverpool draw up fresh Florian Wirtz plan after completing transfer U-turn

The ‘fresh Florian Wirtz plan’ is for a medical on Friday, by the way. There’s no indication that the medical was ever planned for another day. And as for the U-turn…

The Reds will pay a total of £116million to the Bundesliga side, £100m of which is due upfront. It marks a U-turn for Leverkusen, who had initially been seeking a fee in the region of £124.6m.

Pretty sure that’s a negotiation rather than a U-turn, but nobody clicks on ‘negotiations’ and every f***er clicks on ‘U-turns’, especially when you can pretend that Liverpool have made a U-turn, necessitating a ‘fresh Florian Wirtz plan’.

But why stop at one U-turn when you can go for two…?

Florian Wirtz criticised after Liverpool transfer U-turn – ‘It’s a real shame’

Has Florian Wirtz made a ‘Liverpool transfer U-turn’? Has he balls. He didn’t even make a Bayern Munich transfer U-turn; he never agreed to join the German champions. Hell, he hasn’t even been ‘criticised’, but who gives a toss when you can pretend that the Liverpool deal has fallen through?

And even worse…

Liverpool transfer collapsed after medical with £60million target left stunned by decision

The Liverpool transfer in question? Nabil Fekir in 2000 and b***ard 18.

READ: Transfer rumour power ranking: Spurs eye another Man Utd target, Sancho to land on his feet again?

And it’s LIVE

Over to the Express for the latest LIVE football transfer chat.

Transfer news LIVE: Man Utd make Sancho decision as medical date announced

The ‘Sancho decision’ is – and this will shock you – that they would quite like to sell him. The medical date? For Florian Wirtz of course. It’s a ‘fresh plan’, it’s LIVE, and it has sod all to do with Jadon Sancho.

Big, Rash decision

We reach that time of the year when kit launches and murals are scoured for clues about summer transfers, as if the decisions of those in marketing and merchandise have been directly influenced by the manager. Because of course Arne Slot has had input into the window display of the club shop in Liverpool One and Mikel Arteta has decided who will wear the third kit in that TikTok video.

And Ruben Amorim has decided that Manchester United should sell Marcus Rashford shirts.

Man Utd choose NOT to sell two players’ 2025/26 shirts as big decision on Marcus Rashford is made

Are we supposed to be surprised that Man Utd are not (sorry, NOT) giving fans the option of buying shirts for two players who a) have achieved almost nothing with the club and b) are unlikely to ever play for the club again? One of them doesn’t even have a shirt number, FFS.

As for the ‘big decision’ on Rashford…we suspect that it was slightly influenced by the fact that his name adorned the most sold Manchester United shirts in 2023/24 (ahead of Alejandro Garnacho). His shirts sell and will continue to sell because he has 20 years and over 400 games of history with the club.

So no, The Sun, ‘United’s online shop’ does not ‘suggest that there could be a way back for the homegrown hero’. What it does suggest is that they would quite like some money, thank you.

Green light spells, well, absolutely nothing

Just a day after the ‘green light’ to sign Harry Kane, ‘Manchester United braced for transfer ‘green light’ and huge Marcus Rashford impact’ (Manchester Evening News).

Yes, we imagine that Manchester United are steeling themselves for Barcelona getting the ‘green light’ to sign Nico Williams, which would in turn have the ‘huge impact’ that Marcus Rashford would not be able to join Barcelona.

As there are no other clubs in the world, it’s a bloody good job that they are still selling those Rashford shirts.

The same ‘green light’ pops up on football.london, though this time it’s a ‘huge green light’, which sounds like a sign of alien life.

Viktor Gyokeres Arsenal transfer twist with offer ‘submitted’ as huge green light finally arrives

Has there been an offer ‘submitted’ for Gyokeres? You know the answer to that question. In fact, there has been no Arsenal offer ‘submitted’ for anybody and the ‘huge green light’ is for Barcelona and not Arsenal.

Other than all that, it’s excellent news for Arsenal.

Brace yourselves

We’re not saying that Reach have sent round an e-mail encouraging their subs to use a certain phrase but…

‘Liverpool braced for transfer ‘green light’ and £100m Luis Diaz impact’ – Liverpool Echo.

‘Manchester United braced for transfer ‘green light’ and huge Marcus Rashford impact’ – Manchester Evening News.

‘Arsenal braced for Nico Williams transfer green light as new £54.5m twist emerges’ – Football.London.

And we’re all braced for more absolute bullshit.

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