It’s European football’s Groundhog Day for the TikTok generation

BUSINESS TIME

After eight months and 252 games, Bigger Cup has finally reached the bare-knuckle stage of this bizarrely elongated competition. We get the thrilling spectacle of three repeat fixtures from the league phase, thanks to the suits wanting to make this the most thrilling and profitable product possible. The world demands more Galatasaray v Liverpool, extra Kieran Trippier v Lamine Yamal and plenty of Pep Guardiola against whichever former Anfield stalwart is in the Real Madrid dugout this week. It is very much Groundhog Day for the TikTok generation, with Uefa desperately hoping that short attention spans mean everyone has already forgotten these earlier matchups.

Anyway, do not adjust your TV sets this midweek because there are – count them – six English teams still standing, even if Tottenham are punch-drunk from being the Premier League’s 16th best team. Their very interim head coach Igor Tudor blurted an inspirational “our first aim is the Premier League, this needs to be said publicly” before tackling Atlético Madrid on Tuesday. It is also out in the open that he is in charge of an incredibly poor team who bungled their way to mixing it with the elite by defeating an even worse Manchester United in Bigger Vase last season. The Croatian has already overseen losses to European giants Arsenal, Fulham and Crystal Palace, so is likely to get his wish of focusing on his plan to avoid a trip to Lincoln next season soon enough. Admittedly, Spurs finished fourth in the Bigger Cup group table, so maybe they are more suited to trips to the Riyadh Air Metropolitano than Turf Moor.

Arne Slot found salvation in Europe, too, leading his side to third by shoeing the likes of continental minnows Qarabag and Inter. They did, however, lose in Istanbul to Tuesday’s opponents, learning about the cauldron of Rams Park and there will be plenty more rutting to come in hell. Alisson went off during the game back in September and has decided the travel is not for him this time on account of some unspecified knack. Giorgi Mamardashvili will be given his first start in two months, having last featured against Barnsley in the FA Cup, which will be a very different vibe to 90 minutes of whistling and hullabaloo.

The pubs of Newcastle will also be buzzing with talk of Faustino Asprilla’s 1997 hat-trick against Barça, a team who had zero idea how to defend a Keith Gillespie cross. “I want our players to be talked about in the same way in 20, 30, 40 years,” chirped Eddie Howe. Unfortunately, they have already lost to the Catalans this season, offering up a strong indication of the gap between the two. People also neglect to mention they lost at Camp Nou 29 years ago and did not make it out of a group that Barcelona finished bottom of, so in many ways Will Osula has already surpassed the great Colombian, regardless of what happens over the next eight days. These are the nights people will never forget, until they inevitably get drawn against one another in three months’ time in some post-Geopolitics World Cup Maga Invitational.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Scott Murray from 5.45pm GMT for hot Bigger Cup last-16, first-leg action from Galatasaray 2-2 Liverpool, while Rob Smyth will be on clockwatch duty for the rest of the evening’s action at 8pm, including Atalanta 0-2 Bayern, Atlético 2-1 Tottenham, and Newcastle 1-3 Barcelona.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I don’t want to begin to imagine how difficult that decision is for each of the individual women, but certainly last night it was joy, it was relief. People were very excited about embarking on a life in Australia” – home affairs minister Tony Burke reveals that five members of the Iran women’s national team, led by captain Zahra Ghanbari, have been granted formal protection with temporary humanitarian visas, which offers a pathway to permanent residency.

double quotation markRe: the masked fan in Germany who unplugged the ref’s review monitor in a protest at VAR (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). Please tell me it was this guy!” – Antony T.

double quotation markWith respect to Greg Wynn’s missive (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), Oscar Piastri crashed on the reconnaissance lap, which is like a footballer getting knacked while getting off the bus” – Robert Pearce (and others).

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Antony T. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them are here.

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