Mbeumo 'fresh twist' after hilarious low-ball offer as coach 'breaks silence'

Everything has changed for Man Utd over Bryan Mbeumo after Nottingham Forest made an offer for Yoane Wissa about £30m below Brentford’s valuation.

Rash decision

It is rare to be given such insight into the MailOnline‘s internal ranking of headline priorities. But Friday provided a glorious opportunity to peek behind that particular curtain.

This story published at 9.11am…

‘Marcus Rashford arrives at Man United training EIGHT Minutes [sic] after boss Ruben Amorim and the squad depart Carrington as forward’s cold exile continues’

…was changed to reflect the most important detail of all at 10am, with myriad wrist slaps presumably doled out in between:

‘Marcus Rashford arrives at Carrington in sparkling £177k Audi to train alone after the squad had left the complex – as forward’s Man United exile continues’

The omission of some unnecessary ALL CAPS was obviously a tough call, his ‘exile’ is no longer ‘cold’ and now we have no idea of the delay between Ruben Amorim leaving and Marcus Rashford arriving, but look at the expensive motor before he takes it to Barcelona and shut up.

Why axis

The same ground-breaking update prompts an important Q&A session from the Manchester Evening News:

‘Why Manchester United forward Marcus Rashford drove into Carrington amid transfer decision’

Because he a) is a footballer who wants to train and b) didn’t fancy catching the bus.

How’s it hanging?

Rashford makes up part of a group given perhaps the least inspired nickname in football history by the MailOnline:

‘Inside Man United’s first week of pre-season as Gang of Five’s shadow hangs over Carrington while club struggle to sell outcasts’

That is laughable. Where’s the creativity? No alliteration, rhyme or pun? What about The Rash Pack? The Infamous Five? If you’re not going to do it properly then don’t do it at all.

But Mediawatch is intrigued. In what way does the ‘shadow’ of Rashford and his exiled brethren ‘hang’ over Man Utd beyond the club placing extortionate values on their heads before wondering why no-one wants to buy players they are explicitly desperate to sell?

It is not exactly made clear and indeed Chris Wheeler has been ever so slightly stitched-up. His four mentions of Rashford in a wide-ranging piece include: how Man Utd want to sell him; that he has returned to training early and with an excellent attitude; and that the other players the club want rid of have chosen not to do so, as it their wont.

It really does sound like the ‘Gang of Five’s shadow hangs over Carrington’. Wait until Sir Jim finds out what car Rashford took.

Twist again, like we did last summer

With precisely zero actual movement on the Rashford front we are left with the ongoing need to pretend there is anything happening with regards to the future of Bryan Mbeumo.

That is obviously relatively difficult, seeing as it is common knowledge the player wants to join Man Utd but negotiations with Brentford over a fee are protracted and inevitably secretive.

Yet there are absolutely updates to be had if you look hard/desperately enough. Like the Daily Mirror website, who say the move has ‘taken fresh twist as Brentford receive new bid’.

How unfortunate that the headline implies said ‘new bid’ is from Man Utd for Mbeumo when it is actually from Nottingham Forest for Yoane Wissa.

Does Forest making an offer about £30m below Brentford’s valuation of Wissa really constitute a ‘fresh twist’ over Man Utd’s pursuit of Mbeumo? No. If anything it reflects better on Man Utd who are far closer to finding a breakthrough in negotiations. But also obviously yes if you need to pretend things are happening at Old Trafford.

The same outlet also runs this story:

‘Bryan Mbeumo ‘very frustrated’ by Man Utd transfer as Brentford star’s coach breaks silence’

And Mediawatch is thrilled to confirm that Cameroon assistant coach Ashu Cyprian Besong has finally spoken out on the matter after keeping his counsel for so long.

If these quotes don’t get the ball moving then nothing will:

“Yes, obviously he’s very frustrated with how long it’s taken. But he’s a professional and anticipates these things. I spoke to him about a week ago and he is very calm with everything that is going on.”

Shame they could only find space in the headline to fit in how Mbeumo was “very frustrated” rather than “very calm”.

READ NEXT: Huge Man Utd boost as transfer ‘will go through’ with £300m Ratcliffe plan revealed

Noni chance in hell

Arsenal’s move for Noni Madueke has prompted the sort of reaction this summer desperately needed: namely absolute fury at a relatively sensible but admittedly quite expensive transfer.

The common consensus appears to be that Arsenal are shafting themselves; The Sun believe ‘Chelsea could be about to repeat their Mo Salah transfer mistake by selling Noni Madueke to Arsenal’.

That is a brave and bold line from Lloyd Canfield, Sports Journalist and Sport Social Media Manager, who reckons the Blues are ‘selling what seems to be the most obvious Salah replica the club have had in years’.

Good lord. There are some similarities in underlying numbers and style but it is a frankly ludicrous and unhelpful comparison.

And pretending ‘it signals the sale of a player who perhaps epitomises BlueCo’s model better than any other’ is also quite weird for two reason: the £52m sale itself of a player Chelsea signed for £29m less than two years ago epitomises that model, as does the fact ‘his replacement is an 18-year-old Brazilian wonderkid who is a talented but still relatively unknown outside of South America in Estevao Willian’.

This is remarkably BlueCo Chelsea.

Madueke’s modest output last season is then excused because it is ‘important to remember he had Nicolas Jackson on the end of many chances he was creating’.

Why that didn’t stop six different Chelsea players assisting at least one of Jackson’s 13 goals but held Madueke back to the extent he set up fewer goals than Christopher Nkunku, Tyrique George and Jackson himself last season is unknown.

‘With Liam Delap and Joao Pedro already looking clinical in the Club World Cup, Chelsea’s frontline next season could have represented an opportunity for Madueke to explode into the player most fans know he can become.’

Someone’s forgetting the other £55m forward Chelsea have signed; that frontline needs to make room for Jamie Gittens too and the player with 20 combined goals and assists in 67 Premier League games makes sense if a buyer is willing to meet his price tag.

Madueke might come good at Arsenal. He might not. But is it really necessary to pretend there is literally zero middle ground between starting a petition against his signing and comparing him to one of the greatest players the Premier League has ever seen?

Bees knees

With the ‘shock’ of the only Premier League club then without a manager considering the credentials of Ange Postecoglou having barely set in, the MailOnline now brings us this JUST DAYS later:

‘Jordan Henderson returns to Premier League with free transfer to surprise club, after quitting Ajax early having already ditched his Saudi nightmare’

A mid-table side who have just sold an experienced central midfielder in their 30s? Brentford are, again, about the least ‘surprising’ club Henderson could have joined. Stop being weird.

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